Diary

It has been 3 years i had not been writing, i can't lift up my pen because is too painful to write down how i feel।
Writing my thoughts used to be the only way to make myself feel better but ... it has became a pain too!
My life was empty since... till now only emptiness filled my heart.
This few years i had been trying, trying so hard but nothing seems to work.
There are many may say i am a loser but there's nothing i could do but...
I wish i could i wish i could but....
Life is cruel ... but that's life...
I have been living in a world of my own these few years but i have a notebook to communicate with ppl in the cyber world, which keep me going.
This is my choice, my only choice because i just want to be alone.
Last year, i help someone to take care of a puppy, maltese becuase she needs to go for an operation but after her operation she doesn't want the dog back home anymore. hmm...i had no choice but to keep the dog with me for the time being till...i don't know .
i used to be afraid of dog but now i am kind of used to it, he is 1 yr 4 mths now and he sleep with me on my king size bed.
I am alone, so alone...
With him around sometimes when i long for warmth i will hold his "hand" to keep me warm though sometimes he can be a pain but at least he is the only one that i will "talk" to.
Well, i guess is not too bad to have him around at least i am not so lonely, not so empty!